Well, to put it lightly, I am officially broken. This has been the most stressful project of my life not due to it's size but due to the fact that it just comes at a time in my life where I can't take anymore of anything. It's so strange how I've been so light in terms of important factors in my life for the past few years but all of a sudden, things like buying a house, getting married, getting bills in check, medical issues etc etc all come aty the same exact time. Kate has been a blessing just by taking care of me through the whole thing. Not to go into other life details but working on Roxy last night really put me at ease, even though I was honestly looking for jersey barriers to drive into on the way home from work.

I am elbows deep in the worst, most stressful three months of my life lately. I would quit this project but I really think it would hurt me more to look at her unfinished so I proceed on. I slept for shit last night, getting home and in bed at 1am after finishing up the engine swap. I wasn't tired but simply put on autopilot. I tossed and turned and at 4am I was WIDE awake but asleep at the same time. All I could think about was EVERYTHING. Cars, work, projects, family, kate; every piece of stress that I had in my life all at once. It was almost surreal how quickly and "thickly" it all came in to my brain.

It was just too much. Kate, obviously half awake due to my inability to sleep, rolled over and rubbed my neck while I jabbered on about the horrible ideas I was thinking of to stop the flood of thoughts in my head. I remember now how serene I grew just because she was there right next to me, putting me back to the ground.

This thing has really taught me a lot. On our way home last night when NO ONE was on the highway, we laughed at the fact that last year, the biggest mod we did was a valve cover gasket on a MK2. This years project skipped so many steps in our education that it is almost understandable at how many times we have been kicked to the ground. I'm proud of our accomplishments this season. The biggest thing I've learned is that if you don't enjoy the process then you shouldn't do it and I am certainly paying for it now.

If I don't die this month, I sure as shit am gonna take it easy next year. The only mod I'm gonna work on is my beer belly.

(this is a car blog not a livejournal right? haha)

This entry was posted by JKREW, on Tuesday, September 11, 2007. You can leave your response.